Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
i'm stressed out with work. not so much with the kids, but with the environment i work in. for example, over half of the light bulbs are burnt out in the gym. it is so dreary in there. all of the light bulbs are burnt out in the library. today i had to use a cow flashlight that mooed every 20 seconds to find new books for next week. i mean really, will somebody please change the dam light bulbs?!!? that's another thing that sucks about being at a private school...when something goes wrong, there is no maintenance person to fix it. also, i feel like some people that are above me (aka my boss and board members) just don't give a shit. it's frustrating when things don't get done that needs to be.
my assistant and i were talking about how our blood pressure is probably skyrocketed at the end of every day. she brought her blood pressure cuff so we could check it. sure enough, from the morning to the afternoon mine was 12 points higher!
things have been great with Bison. i really do think he's the sweetest boyfriend ever. he's nice, but not TOO nice. he definitely puts me in my place when needed. i like to see how far i can push people and see what i can get away with. he has caught on to this and already knows how to handle me. i just got to his house and am waiting for him to get off work. i reason i came this weekend was for his christmas party. i hate christmas parties (not like we get them where i work), but i won't know anyone there. he doesn't even know many people, as he just started 3 months ago and there are like 300 employees. oh well, i'm just along for the ride i guess....and to take advantage of the free food and drinks.
i am totally addicted to the show snapped. it's a show about ladies snapping and killing their loved ones, whether it be a husband, sister or mom. my favorite episode is when there is a lady who kills her mom, sticks here in a garbage can and duck tapes it shut. the lady keeps the garbage can in storage. the police find it when the lady stops making payments on the storage room. the part i love is when the lady who does the voice over says, "they ruled out suicide...". haha, duh! love it! it's on thursday nights, right after greys. i used to love greys, but the thing they are doing with izzy is dumb. from what i gather, they are going to give her a brain tumor. i think there would have been better ways to do that than bring her denny back from the dead. dumb!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
i looked over at a girl who was sitting at the snack table munching on a rice krispy treat when i noticed she had a weird look on her face. suddenly i heard water hitting the floor that really kind of sounded like a waterfall.
she peed all over the chair and floor, and i mean ALL over. it looked like she hadn't went to the bathroom in 3 days. i understand accidents happen with the younger ones, but this girl is almost 5. she is a very bright little girl who is adding and almost reading. she said she "forgot" to go to the bathroom. how does that happen?! was she really that wrapped up in her rice krispy treat that she couldn't think of anything else?
cons of working at a private school: there is no janitor, therefore the teachers have to clean up messes such as this one. since i never clean up vomit due to high gag reflex, i decided to take one for the team and clean up the urine.
Monday, January 5, 2009
first of all, i couldn't sleep worth a crap this morning. i finally said screw it at 5:30 and got up, was at work at 6:30. i find out at 7:25 my assistant wouldnt be in today because her son was sick. the only sub that we could find could only stay until 12:30.
anyway, 8:10 rolls around and my boss "forgets" (and what i really mean is she just didn't tell me) that i was getting a new student today. there is a shitload of stuff to do to get ready for a new student...at least 30 minutes of things anyway. i couldn't believe it was the first day back from vacation, a monday morning, 20 minutes before the kids come to class and she is sitting here telling me a new kid is coming. my thoughts....what the fuck.
so 2 minutes after i find this out the family and new kid showed up. i probably sounded like a complete tool, as i was still in shock that i didn't know about this sooner. my boss and another coworker apparently found this out a week ago. i guess they "forgot" to give me the memo.
i just had the whatever attitude, as there wasn't anything i could do about it. the kid just wouldn't have a take home folder, cubby, extra work folder, snack stick, attendence name tag...
at about 10 we went to the gym to play a game...a little girl throws up which led to me gagging. my assistant usually handles things like this for me because i can't even stand to know someone is puking. so the sub cleaned it up, thank god.
12:00 rolls around and boy starts crying saying he had a headache. i called dad and it took 30 minutes for him to come. the sub left for the day which meant i was on my own.
at 2:35 my boss comes to my room..."is everything okay in here? i totally spaced it out that you were by yourself back here...oops!" and she laughs. i gritted my teeth and told her i was fine...as i was still completely pissed at her for throwing a new student on me 20 minutes before school started. after that a kid spilled sand all over the floor and table and as i was cleaning that up another one was trying to dump soap shavings in the garbage but completely missed the garbage and was all over the floor.
one of my things to work on this year was to have a better attitude at work...it's tough when days like today happen. at least tomorrow is a new day and it probably can't get much worse (knock on wood).
Friday, January 2, 2009
so nobody could decide what they were going to do so Bison decided to have people over at his house. when i asked who was all coming he started naming all these couples. i HATE doing couple things, even though i'm in a couple. i think they're awkward and weird. i casually mention how couple things make me uncomfortable which led to fight #1. he took it as i didn't want people over at his house. whatever.
so i invited my single gal pal, Miss Basketball, who i work with and was in town visiting her parents. and i insisted Bison invited some of his single friends.
So after everyone showed up it turned out to be 4 singles and 5 couples. not a bad turnout. Miss Basketball and i decided to start playing games in the kitchen. then the 3 other single people joined us. Bison started playing games in the living room with the 5 couples. this is how it was the entire night! the singles and i in the kitchen, couples and Bison in the living room. funny how it turned out that way. Bison didn't even talk to me for 3.5 hours until after the couples left around 1 am. by that time he was drunk and wanted to talk, and i was pissed cause he ignored me the entire night. it's not like i wanted him to be by my side the whole time holding my hand, but i would have liked to talk to him for 5 minutes.
i went to bed around 2, he didn't come in till almost 4. i didn't say a word about anything, as i didn't want to start a fight.
the next morning after everyone left he asked if i had fun. i said it was okay. he didn't like that answer and led to fight #2. i simply said it would have been better if he would have acknowledged me for 5 minutes and he said he didn't realize that he was ignoring me and that he was sorry. you would think that would have been the end of the conversation but no such luck. then he went off about how i hated couple things and that i was attacking him. mean things were said, i broke down and started crying. i have never cried that hard in front of him or because of him, but he was being horrible. sometimes i really think i'm not cut out to be in a relationship.
he felt bad that i was crying and then we finally talked about things. my friend C was in town and asked if i wanted to go to movie. Bison told me that i should go so that we could spend a couple hours apart to calm down. so i went and when i got back things were good. he said he actually missed me when i was gone. i still hate new years eve.
last night we had a good time though. we made supper and had his twin brother and his wife over. they left and i whooped his ass in scrabble. so things are good between us now.
his roommate, Mr. Nurse, is driving me nuts. i think he hates that i'm here and keeps making comments to me. we were playing cards new years eve and when i took his card he said "first you take my best friend, then my cards". ouch. he also made a comment about my tattoo. we were sitting around talking about tattoos and he asked if i had one. i said yes. he said, Bison just loves tattoos! (and this was very sarcastic) i was unaware that he hated tattoos and Mr. Nurse made me feel like an idiot. also, then other night i had a coke in the fridge. he drank it without asking. apparently i need to label my things at Bisons house like i do at work.
it's a new year and i need to have a new and improved attitude about things. this is many of the things i need to work on but more on that later!
Monday, December 29, 2008
i hate driving, esp by myself. while driving, i always get images of me getting into an accident. whether it be while passing a stupid semi truck and they lose control and run me off the road or me not paying attention to the road and and driving into the ditch. i think of these scenarios and then i have mini panic attack. i think i'm crazy because i think i like this. it's not normal to have such tragic thoughts.
i do this whenever i have friends and family traveling too. last summer my parents went on a motorcycles trip and i kept having thoughts of them getting into accidents. it went so far that i thought about what their funeral would be like and how i would sell their house. i made my mom call me and keep me updated at every stop they made, which i think kind of annoyed her although my stepdad kept reminding her to call me. these are horrible thoughts and i hate it. it's disturbing.