does marriage work?

i did it. i changed my status to "in a relationship". at first i wasn't really okay with it and talked to Bison about it. he was really sweet and said that he didn't want me to do anything that i wasn't comfortable with. but i took the leap and did it. now i'm actually feeling pretty good about it. lets just hope this feeling stays...

i was sick all weekend and even stayed home from work today. when people find out i'm sick, they say, "you're ALWAYS sick". well i wonder why...could it be because i constantly have 4 years olds sneezing and coughing in my face? or because it's on a rare occasion that they actually use a kleenex when they have something in their nose? or the fact that they seem to always forget to wash their hands? ugh...really people. i hate missing work, it makes me feel guilty and way behind on things, especially with parent/teacher conferences coming up.

over the weekend, i got a drunk text from an ex, who is now married. i dated him for like a month about 4 years ago when i was on a break from the Long Term Relationship. he was a nice guy, it ended because i decided to get back together with the ex. needless to say a couple months after we dated, Married guy moved to a different town. throughout the last 4 years, every couple months i would get random text messages from him saying he missed me and that he still thought about me all the time. i found out through friends that he eventually moved in with his girlfriend. when i asked him about it he said it "was for financial reasons only". okay, whatever. then i find out he's engaged, which he would never mention over his random 'miss you' texts. in july, he texted me saying he missed me and that he was at a bachelor party. well to find out, it was his bachelor party. a month later, he got married. i thought that would have been the last time i heard from him. but i was wrong. very early sunday morning i get a text message:

Married guy: Hey

Me: Hey, what's up?

MG: Nothing, I'm wasted.

Me: I figured as much, since you're texting me.

MG: Sorry for contacting you. I shouldn't have.

Me: Why?

MG: I'm married!! (let me remind you, he has never mentioned his engagement, or marriage in all the late-night 'miss you' texts)

Me: Then you should be apologizing to you WIFE, not me.

MG: Sorry for contacting you. My bad.

Me: Yea, your bad. Please delete my number.

MG: Later.

i don't get some people!! i haven't even seen this guy in 4 years, or led him on in any way, shape or form. at one point a couple years ago after some late night texts, i e-mailed him saying i would not be friends with him unless his girlfriend knew about it. he obviously didn't understand that. i feel bad for his wife, she probably has no clue how he has randomly texted me the last couple of years. he's a douche.

things like that happening is why i'm unsure if i even believe in marriage. some people are shady and very untrustworthy. that's my fear, that i will be married and my husband would cheat. in my Long Term Relationship, i got cheated on all the time. it was horrible. i always thought i could get past it and forgive and forget, but in reality that never happened. i just see so many relationships end because of people being unfaithful. Bison was married for about 2 years (i think), his wife cheated on him. i think it's amazing how he's willing to put his all into another relationship and be so trusting and to still believe in marriage. i was just in a shitty relationship and i'm not sure i believe in it. my parents got divorced when i was about 4, my sister got divorced after 1.5 years of marriage, my college roommate got divorced after 1 year on marriage...she's now 25, with one kid and on her second marriage. i honestly think i will be okay if i never walk down that aisle. i don't know, maybe someday someone will prove to me that marriage does actually work...